TREADS THAT HOLD US TOGETHER

TREADS THAT HOLD US TOGETHER

By Jena Gonzalez

Traditions are the threads that hold us together. It is ofrendas for our loved ones in November and the smell of tamales in December. It’s your Apa’s secret pozole recipe that he covets and finally conveys to you, so that it may stay tradition. It is how we are taught to celebrate our beautiful culture. These are the traditions we talk about, the ones that bring us joy and connection from one generation to the next.

“It’s your Apa’s secret pozole recipe that he covets and finally conveys to you..”

We must also be mindful of the traditions that we pass down to one another, the traditions that no longer serve us but have been burned into our being. I know I, like many others, have been hurt by toxic traditions.

Traditions like standard gender roles, discipline, communication, and our views on marriage, faith, education, and mental illness.

How many of us have heard the following phrases?

“What do you have to be depressed about? You have food to eat and a bed to sleep in.”

“Therapy is for white people.”

“Cry and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

“Don’t go telling our business outside of this house.”

“We must also be mindful of the traditions that we pass down to one another..”

These too are traditions. We teach our young girls how to be dutiful wives but forget to teach them the duty they have to themselves to be individuals. We teach our young men to be tough but forget to remind them not to be so tough on themselves. We discuss the importance of hard work but rarely is that in regards to our healing. We say family comes first but struggle to communicate with one another.

“We say family comes first but struggle to communicate with one another.”