HEALING INVISIBLE WOUNDS
HEALING INVISIBLE WOUNDS
By Laurie Valdez
In 2014, the unimaginable happened to my family when Antonio Guzman Lopez was killed by two SJSU police department officers within 50 seconds of arriving at his side. Antonio was a wonderful father, loving son and most caring person. His death at the hands of the police changed my life and that of my children forever. Having to deal with the trauma my son, Josiah, was suffering in the aftermath made me feel helpless as a mother.
It’s been a struggle to be strong and stay positive for my son and ensure his emotional and mental health are being addressed. I do my best with the sleepless nights, nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, and depression without any supportive services. That day, they not only took Antonio away from our 4-year-old son, they stole his innocence and sense of safety, leaving him to suffer his trauma in the shadows.
“That day, they not only took Antonio away from our 4-year-old son, they stole his innocence and sense of safety, leaving him to suffer his trauma in the shadows. ”
One way I learned to cope with our loss was by reaching out to other families impacted locally and nationwide, making sure they know they are not alone. There are no words to explain the unbearable pain, anger and despair one feels after a loved one has been killed by police. The rest and peace of mind are gone. Trying to be happy is a challenge and doesn’t feel right anymore. I knew that all the negative and painful emotions I felt for the 2 years after Antonio’s death had to be a driving force for change and healing so no other family has to suffer, especially innocent children.
That’s when I had the vision to bring families together from California for a day of love, support and healing. I wanted to make sure to focus on the children who deal with the trauma from losing a parent to police violence because they are often, if not always, left unheard. I remember the day I shared my vision with Raj and Charisse of Silicon Valley De-Bug in 2016, and they said, “Okay, let’s make it happen.” Trying to figure out how to raise the money, I get a call from Raj and he tells me that Colin Kaepernick had donated money for my vision to become a reality.
“I wanted to make sure to focus on the children who deal with the trauma from losing a parent to police violence because they are often, if not always, left unheard.”