NO MORE, KNOW MORE

NO MORE, KNOW MORE

By Alexander Nguyen

In July 2018, I lost my mom to liver-pancreatic cancer. At 6 a.m., my dad called me to say that her time was almost up. I tried to be optimistic that she could survive. However, I had to accept that her time was coming, which was my last moment with her. Intensely, I cried, and I told her I was sorry I didn’t spend enough time with her. I was sorry for focusing too much on school and work instead of spending time with her. I said everything that was on my mind, so I would not regret it later. My mom passed away, and a couple of weeks later, I had to cremate her.

“My mom passed away, and a couple of weeks later, I had to cremate her. ”

It has been two years since my mom passed away, and my family has never been the same. All the traditions my mom carried out are gone. No more putting up Christmas decorations. No more eating twelve grapes on the New Year. No more smelling pickled vegetables from the kitchen for Vietnamese New Year. No more making Vietnamese jello. No more hearing my mom coming home at 10 p.m. carrying banh cuonor milk tea. Life has not been the same without her tradition.

“Life has not been the same without her tradition.”

When I see folks celebrating holidays with family, I get sad, and I’m okay with that feeling. When someone passes away, you may feel empty, regretful, or want to give up. People say, “Time heals everything.” I disagree because time does not heal the pain you do not confront and acknowledge. Take the time to feel your emotions. Don’t avoid it because the avoidance will come back to you. Healing doesn’t happen through avoiding your feelings. Healing happens when you face your emotions and walk towards the light. Within the path can be darkness, but you will see the light to guide you at the end.

“Healing happens when you face your emotions and walk towards the light. ”